Once in a while, I focus solely on just the wedding part of the wedding lawyer blog, leaving personal finance and the law out of it. This is one of those times.
I see a lot of questions floating around out there posed by brides and grooms. I think I can offer a unique way to approach those questions.
I see lots of planning question, like:
- Should I invite kids?
- Should I have a destination wedding? Will people come if I do?
- Can I have a Sunday brunch wedding?
- Should I get married at the beach? In the mountains? At a church?
- Who is going to walk me down the aisle? Should anyone walk me down the aisle?
- Should I elope?
- Which colors should I choose?
- How many bridesmaids and groomsmen should I have?
The thing with all of these questions is that they all point to the very same issue: What is my wedding vision? How do I see my wedding?
Now, you could go to Pinterest or message boards for the answers. But when you are there, you are just seeing other people’s visions. And, let’s be frank – the interwebs are full of noise, shouting to you how your wedding should look, what you should wear, which cowboy boots your ladies should be wearing 🙂 Because on Pinterest, there are a LOT of bridesmaids in cowboy boots, am I right?
I challenge you to instead connect to your own heart first. You already have a vision. Sometimes, the question may be how to connect to, or find, that vision.
Your dream wedding belongs to you and your fiance/e, uniquely. So, let’s take a few minutes to dream.
The following exercise is based upon Maslow’s Peak Experience theory. In my non-psychologist’s view, peak experiences are times when you are most in touch with yourself. They are rare, and rich enough for you to recall in vivid memory. When you connect to your peak experience, you connect to your own unique spirit and intuition.
Conjure up your peak experience.
Think about a time in your life when you felt really, really happy. This time could go all the way back to when you got your first pet in childhood, or more recently like a graduation. Or, it could be a beautiful sunset, the moment when your child was born, or when you met your fiancé/e for the first time.
Take a moment to conjure that up… Really feel it. Be aware of all of your senses from that memory – site, taste, sound, smell and taste. Sit with that memory for a few moments.
Now, grab a pen, and answer these questions, while holding onto the memory, and the feelings you have when you remember it.
Now, let yourself dream about your wedding.
Picture yourself at your wedding ceremony. Think about these questions.
- Where are you?
- What are wearing? How do you feel in what you are wearing?
- What are the sounds that you hear? Any smells (i.e. the forest, the ocean)?
Picture yourself walking down the aisle.
- Who is next to you? Ahead of you?
- Do you see flowers? Describe those.
- What does the aisle look like?
- Now that you are at the altar, look around the setting – what does it look like? Look into the audience. Who are the first few people that you see?
- What time of day is it?
If you slip out of your peak experience feeling, just take a few deep cleansing breaths and return to it.
Return to your peak experience when you have additional questions throughout the planning process. In fact, before you think about posting your question on a wedding chat room somewhere or asking your planner, I urge you to take a few minutes to engage in this exercise.
I would like to acknowledge and thank my career and business coach, CJ Liu for introducing me to this concept and for walking me through this exercise. Click HERE to learn more about her coaching services.
Smart couples. Brilliant weddings. Meaningful lives.